With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
