apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They took my balls.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
