i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
