She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if only i could text you this smell
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
