if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
