Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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