Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
two words: eviction party
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Randomize