my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
sex in a hospital.. check
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
