her vagine was all disorganized.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize