eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
