Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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