I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
