I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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