Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
