Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
