pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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