it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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