FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
