He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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