Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
