Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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