anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
