This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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