I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
