Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize