If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
