I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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