I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Randomize
