Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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