Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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