Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
