This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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