I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think your dad took our porno
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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