Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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