I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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