I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
