im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Enjoy the penises
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
