Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You need a sexual gate keeper
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
where are my eyebrows?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
