We're facebook friends in real life
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
