when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
