And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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