I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
