Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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