what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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