you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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