I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize