Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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