i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
