Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
