no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
