you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
