Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize