when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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