I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
