her vagine was all disorganized.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
