what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
