Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I need to sanitize my soul.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
