I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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