I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
