trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
