I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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