I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
